Valentines Day

I saw this over at Brad Cooper's Blog and I agree completely with it...


Got any gift ideas for Valentine's Day? We do. from Angel Mission on Vimeo.

Once upon a time...

Every good story book starts with "Once upon a time..." or at least something to that effect. We exist inside of time, restricted by the moment and living here and now. Looking ahead is mere conjecture. Looking behind, reminiscing. Here is where we exist. Here can be a place full of love, joy and peace. By peace, I mean the peace that moves beyond the situation to the place where there is faith that the resolution will be the best possible. I strive toward that place. That place where there is no past, everything washed away. That place where there is no care for the future. The place where the moment is so filled with love that there is no where else I would rather be. I see my past and wish I had chosen differently, but realize that it is key to who I am. Who am I? Well, once upon a time... I met Jesus, and nothing has been the same.

Refalling in love

A relationship is a complicated thing. There are ebbs and flows to communication and conversation. Some days are on and others just feel a little off. However, at the end of the day the Love is always there. It may just be a matter of refinding it.

Over the last several months I feel as if I have been in the "a little off" area with God. I pray, I give, I do all of the things a good Christian is supposed to do, and yet there is something that seemed to be lacking. I would go through the motions... And that was it, going through the motions. It was as if all of the things I was supposed to do held no meaning any more. My heart began to search. To quote Paul in his letter to the Romans, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." I can honestly say that this is how I had been feeling (note the tense of it all).

It was this week that things changed. I don't know what happened, or how to explain it but things have changed. I am more over worked and stressed out than ever, but I have something on the inside that is renewed. I have refound the love for the Creator of the heavens and the earth that I seemed to have lost for a brief time... I am refalling in love.

yesterday, today, and tomorrow...

Every so often I find myself sitting back and just taking it all in and I realize in that moment that there is so much that I want, and yet it seems to be just out of my reach.

Yesterday my best friend got married. It was a beautiful and hilarious moment. I was his best man and I was truly honored by it. I got to drive a Cadillac with butt chillers, and enjoy watching a few of my friends dance to music one only really hears at weddings. It was a great night, and yet at the end of the night while driving home I found myself listening to one song over and over; "Oh, It Is Love," by Hellogoodbye. I'm looking forward to the day that I get to dance with my wife on that day. I know, I'm a guy and I should be tough and not so mushy, but I can't help it.

Today, I looked inside my self and saw just how much of a better man I can be while listening to pastor Nate speak at Rev this morning. It is a message that I know and have heard a thousand times and I know just how true it really is. I know that I have stuff to work on, and I am. I thank God that His grace is so big.

Tomorrow... Who knows. I'm probably going to get bogged down in the daily happenings that make my life so insanely busy, but I hope not.

My prayer is that I would live tomorrow, and every day after, as aware and in tune with the God that is ultimate reality as is possible.

It's been too long

It seems to always happen... Life that is. Just when everything is going just fine, I decide to shake things up. Over the next few weeks I have midterms, a bachelor party that I am organizing, I am moving on to a new job with Houlihan's and working on freelance projects galore.

In order to accomplish all of this I have employed several things to help me out.

1. iCal- Tracking event notes and todo's are very easy in this little calendar app.
2. TaskTime4- A great time tracking app that allows me to track my time on various freelance projects.
3. Google Docs- whether it is writing a paper for class or putting together an invoice for a customer I have found that a Google template will get the job done quickly and effectively. I especially like Google Docs for the fact that I can work on any machine I like and not have to worry about uploading the document to a thumb drive.
4. Mind Mapping- This is one thing that I have recently discovered. It is not really a program or app, but rather a concept. I noticed that the way I think is not in standard outline form and therefore this is a great tool that helps me get things on hypothetical paper.
5. iPod Touch- I can not even begin to tell you how this item has helped me. From scheduling events to presenting mock-up websites, this little device has saved me many sleepless nights.

What do you use to help get things done?

Neue!

I regularly visit RELEVANT Magazine's website and listen to their podcast. Well, today they added an excellent resource called Neue. Neue looks to be a great resource for ministries that are looking to expand their horizons. The content seems outstanding and the articles and blogs abound. If you are into creativity and looking at things in a Neue way (like what I did there?) then head over to Neueministry.com.

Creativity Unleashed

I just had a great lunch meeting over the weekend with the world renowned author of therathfaction, Ben Rath. He said something that I thought was quite a bit more profound than maybe even he realized. His statement was something along the lines of, you never know how much you have in you until you have a situation that pulls it out of you. This I found to be quite true in my own life right now. I am currently in the midst of yet another transitional season in my life that has left me with a bit of a lump in my throat and butterflies in my stomach. There are so many things to discover and realize, and yet there is so much being drawn out of me that I had no idea was in there.

I remember hearing a speaker recently say that we are all creative geniuses, we just haven't released it yet. I didn't consider myself creative until the last few years, but I am noticing that I have huge creative potential. Now, before you go thinking that I am just prideful, or arrogant, I must say that I would not have even an ounce of life if it weren't for my God. He is the source of all creativity. He created the heavens and the earth and he created me in his image.

So, on to the unleashing.

A few questions I have been asking myself:

1. What am I learning?
Creativity cannot be present without growth and exploration. I am constantly parousing the internet looking for some interesting and entertaining forms of expression. A few good sources; Digg, popcandy, Relevant Magazine, and MIT opencourseware.

2. Who am I helping?
Whether it be in a job, hobby or volunteering expanding my circle has been a huge catalist for getting my creative juices flowing. I love brainstorming and thinking about new ways of doing things. Currently I am working with Revolution SM in designing stage backdrops and leading students in creating videos that both inform and entertain.

3. What is new?
Just like good bread, if an idea isn't used it'll go stale and moldy. Now, a good dose of penecillin is a good thing, but it has to be refined. So I try and stay away from the green fuzzy stuff. There is a constent streem of fresh ideas and media out there. Just take a look at Revision3.

4. How can I make it happen?
I am the type that likes to see a finished product without having to worry about every single detail. I have attempted to surround myself with people that can enable me to expand my ability to get things done. Use people only to help them to reach their full potential.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, there shall be more to come.

New Music

I love finding and listening to new music. Over the last few months I have been infatuated with a few artists. The styles are probably all across the board, but so am I.

Here is a list of my top 5

5. Cartel- Chroma (it's not new, but it is so well put together that the album has been one of my favs for a little while now)

4. Radiohead- In Rainbows

3. David Crowder Band- Remedy

2. Paper Route- Paper Route (honesty is refreshing)

1. Edison Glass- Time is Fiction

Learning

I have been pondering the question of weather it is more important to have a college degree, or to simply love, and never stop learning. Certainly, there are a few things to consider. First, is the degree more important than the person. I submit that it is not. While I am in fact pursuing a degree, I am becoming more and more disillusioned with the way our culture puts such an emphasis on that piece of paper. I have recently been watching a lot of the content on ted.com and stumbled upon a talk given by Sir Ken Robinson about creativity. I, like so many other people, didn't consider myself to be a creative person, that is until recently. I feel, however, that there is a high level of creativity inside of each of us, but that is a topic for another post on another day. Anyway, I must say that Sir Robinson has expanded my thoughts about education. Our society has placed so much emphasis on producing rather than creating that we "become educated out of our creativity." The Bible puts it quite clearly. In Genesis "God created the heavens and the earth..." and then "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

Secondly, I have a question... can one gain the same life without a formal education? I don't have an answer to this one. Your insight in this area would be greatly appreciated.

And lastly, I propose that a desire to learn is much more important than a degree. Many formal education institutions seem to be catching on to this thought. I found a website that shows universities that are offering they course materials for free. This is a wonderful idea in my mind, because I love to learn. If you've known me for long enough you'll eventually hear me talk about sub-atomic particles, absolute zero, relativity and the like, but for me it isn't about knowing more than the other guy in the room. For me it is about knowing the creator of the universe just a little better. He is the one that created the heavens and the earth. He is the one that knew me before the foundations of the earth. He is the one. And to know Him is more important than a degree in my opinion.

But, you may have noticed that I seemed to have contradicted myself. I said that I am pursuing a degree and yet I find no personal value in it. This is the struggle I find myself in. A struggle between culture and myself. The culture may seem to be winning, but in the end I know that this is the path I must take. But I have downloaded some course material from MIT and UC Berekley.

Story

So, I've been thinking alot about what I am going to talk about this weekend at Rev.  I have a couple of options and i have decided to tell my story.  I wish I could figure out what road I want to take.  My options include overall themes about brokeness, fear, faithfulness, or just a mish-mash of my life story.  I'm leaning toward broken.  Let me know what you think.

Back

It's been a while, but I'm going to get more regularly.

In my accounting class there are...

16 Students
16 Lighting Fixtures
104 Ceiling Tiles
9 Water Sprinkler Heads
1 Teacher
And not a single interesting moment.

I will never be an accountant!

If my heart could swell
Beyond the capacity of my chest
Would it break out
Of the chains of this flesh?
Would it take on
All the life that it could?
Would it let go
Of all the hurt from before?
Or…
Would it fall
Down to the earth in pain?
Would it die
From the freedom it desired?
Would it fracture
Beyond repair?
 
If my heart could swell
Beyond the capacity of my chest
Where would the love go?
Where would the pain go?
 
If my heart could swell
Beyond the capacity of my chest

tired

I am so tired. I just want to go home and lay down. I stayed out way to late this weekend. 3:30 on Saturday and 3:00 on Sunday. I regret nothing. I got to develop relationships that I feel very deeply about. For me, at least lately, I have found myself finding... Well, myself. I have been finding that I am a relational person. I love my friends. I love my family. And I want to grow that so very much.

On another note, I have the opportunity to teach every Sunday this month at the youth group for about 10 minutes. I am going to do a miniseries on the kingdom of heaven and what the invasion of heaven to earth would look like. I am getting excited about it.

iTouch... No, don't touch.

I have finally figured out how to blog from my new iPod Touch. This makes me rather happy. A shall be using this, hopefully much much more.

What makes me who I am? Is it the things I say. The way I dress. The group I associate with. The way I act. Or is it all of those things?

I think that it is so much more, because we can say certain things at one point and other things when the situation changes. Around this group of people we may be outrageous and entertaining, and around that group we are quiet and reserved. We can curse and be perverse in this place and be holy and gentle in another.

What makes a christian different? Are we all that much different?

In my opinion, it is that we are the same no matter who we are with. That we are whole and complete. No lies, no deceit, no rumors. Just the same. All the time.

John 17:11
I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one.

It is tuesday and I have two finals today.  I just finished my Psychology final and I am going to be studying for the rest of the day for my Accounting Final.  Yee-Ha!

I have been captivated by all of what has happened at New Life and YWAM.  I know a ton of YWAMers and even almost became one at one point, but my path was to be different.  I have been watching a few minutes of the covverage on CNN here at the campus and have no idea what to make of it all.  I am just glad that the security guards and the church had a plan in action and new what to do in case of an emergency.

It is finals week.  Fun?  Not so much.  However I have gained some mobility in my injured hand.  I also discovered a blogger widget and that makes me slughtly happier.  

I was wanting to quit everything, but today I'm doing much better.  It was probably just the pre-finals junk that was getting to me.

See you after finals!

Burning, yet not

Of all the statements to make...

“I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”

Okay, so I guess I should take a step back.

After having a rather abnormal upbringing, which growing up in the Pharaoh’s palace in my eyes certainly qualifies as not being par for the times, Moses flees the plush surroundings that was the palace after killing a man and burying him in the sand. Moses goes from the best of the best to hanging out with goats. Well, it may have been sheep, but the ability for sheep to climb mountains leads me to imagine it was goats... And I hate sheep. Vile and stupid creatures.

Anyway, while tending the flock of four legged creatures Moses looked upon the side of a mountain and noticed a fire, and what guy can possibly stay away for something that is on fire. But there was something different about this fire. The closer he got to the fire he noticed that something was on fire, but nothing was burning. Now, I love campfires. I love sitting there with my feet up on the side of the fire ring watching the flames dance through the air and through my studies I have noticed that there are at least two major types of wood based fire. The first is the slow burning heavy wood fire which burns, ummm... slowly.

Very slowly.

It takes a while to get this type of fire started, but once it is started it lasts a very long time. The heat from this type of fire remains long after the flames subside. And those flames last a very long time.

The other type of fire is the ultra-fast burning brush fire which burns very quickly. This fire starts easily and only lasts a brief time. The heat doesn’t stick around for very long, but when it is burning it is very intense and bright.

But this fire was neither and both at the same time. It was a bush, which should burn rapidly, that was not burning but was on fire. If it were me standing there I would probably have stared at that bush for quite some time. At first simply enjoying the fire. But then noticing that this fire wasn’t doing what I had expected it to do (perhaps a glimpse into what was to come).

Then, while mesmerized by the fire that wasn’t burning, a voice calls from within the bush to Moses. At this point I would have needed to change my toga, or whatever the historically accurate garment for the time would have been. And it only gets stranger, because the very first thing this on fire yet not burning bush tells Moses to do was take off his flip-flops. Why? Because the ground he was standing on was holy, and if you track mud (or goat remnants for that matter) onto the new carpet you are dead.

After that the bush voice finally tells Moses who He is, and who else could pull this off but God.

God: “Excuse me Moses, but could you please take off your shoes, I just hand Gabe clean up”

Moses: “Certainly,” Moses says half confused and frightened out of his mind.

God: “Thanks, and by the way I am the God that you real father served.”

Moses: “Oh Crap!” Moses thought to himself as he quickly covers his face in fear.

God: “Listen, Moses, I have seen what’s going on in Egypt and I am none too happy about it, and you are going to fix it.”

Moses: “Wha...”

God: “So, I want you to pack up and go get my kids.”

Moses: “Umm, I don’t know if you know, but I’m not the right guy for the job.”

God in all of his wisdom and mercy and power says to Moses, “Just go. I’ll be with you. And this is how you will know that I sent you: when you are done, you and the rest of them will worship me one this mountain that we are on now.”

Pause for just a moment...

God’s sign to Moses is that after Moses is done they will worship God. Yeah, real reassuring for Moses at that moment. I always find strength before I go in to over-through the strongest empire known to mankind in knowing that when I am done I’ll know I was right. And neither did Moses.

Back to the action...

Moses: “Okay, so lets just say that I do go to the Israelites, what am I going to say? ‘Get in! we’re gonna make a run for it!’ You have lost your mind. I don’t even know Your name, so who am I even supposed to tell them sent me?”

God: “I AM.”

Moses: “...”

God: “Tell them that I AM sent you.”

Moses: “Right, and what if, on some off chance they don’t believe me?”

God: “What do you have in your hand?”

Moses: “A staff.”

God: “Throw it on the ground,” God said to Moses.

So Moses does so, and the staff turns into a snake, and Moses screams like a little girl (ok, that’s not in the Bible, but lets call it personalization of the character) and runs away (which is in the Bible). After getting a third clean toga, Moses picks the snake up and it turns back into a staff. God then has Moses put his hand into his cloak, freshly changed mind you, and when he pulls it out... his skin is falling off.

I have heard some say that this was the turning point. This is the moment that Moses realized the God saw him for exactly what he was, and yet still chose him. Moses realized that God knew that he wasn’t the best, or healthiest, or most capable, or smartest, or emotionally stable. But he was paying attention. He noticed that bush that wasn’t burning yet was on fire. He slowed down. He listened. He obeyed. And the rest is history.

Creation Falls

Here we find Adam, freshly created out of dirt, hanging out with the creator of the universe having a conversation.

Adam- “So, I’m made of dirt...”

God- “yep.”

Adam- “hmm...”

God- “You seem bored.”

Adam- “No, no... I’m good..”

God- “Yeah, well, you see that tree over there... Don’t eat from it, ‘cause you’ll die.”

Adam- “Oh, wow... okay, not a problem.”

Insert awkward silence.

God- “You’re bored.”

Adam- “Kinda.”

God- “How about we get you a friend.”

Adam- “Sweet!”

So God proceeds to parade every creature ever brought into existence in front of Adam to name, and I am guessing that this was more than just an afternoon activity. After all of this is said and done no sufficient partner for Adam has been found, but I have come to believe this activity was more for Adam than it was for God’s ego. So God takes a rib from Adam and makes Eve. And Adam’s reaction was something like:

“WOW!”

Of course the Bible is much more poetic in It’s reference to Adam’s first reaction.
And what is a good campfire story without a villain? Enter the serpent, and who does this creature target? The woman. The serpent questions God’s very first rule, mind you she wasn’t even created when God set this rule up, so she has second hand knowledge of it at best. Eve adds an extra little bit that is crucial to the story. She said that God said, which is confusing already, that if she even touched the tree she would die. So she touched. Nothing happened. I imagine that once she touched the tree and nothing happened she then saw that what she once thought was true is now rendered invalid. Was it God’s words that were invalid? No, it was her understanding of what God said that was invalid.

So, she eats.

She then proceeds to give the fruit to Adam, who says nothing...

He doesn’t ask what she is doing. He doesn’t say no. He doesn’t even say thank you (which is not only stupid but also very inconsiderate). He simply eats.

At this point they realize that they are starting the first nudist colony and they don’t like that idea very much so they sew together fig leaves. Fig leaves. One more time, fig leaves. Could they have picked any material that could have been worse, I propose that they could not. After several days their futile attempts to cover their faults and flaws would have become brittle, withered and dry. Those leaves, sewn together, would have turned to dust and fallen off. Broken into tiny pieces. Inadequate to say the least.

Enter the Creator of the universe out on a leisurely morning stroll through the pinnacle of His efforts. He finds that His most precious creation is attempting to hide from Him. I can only imagining how far his heart must have sank that day. Having come from the rhythm of ‘it is good’ to now finding the creation that bears His very image hiding from Him. This depth of sadness is something that I could never, nor would ever want to experience. Why sad? Because what is love but a choice.